MzDuckie

Weight: 224.6 Lost: 1.0 Pounds BMI: 34.1

I’m actually proud of myself. I knew these smaller weigh ins were coming after stopping SlimQuick and after a huge weight loss last week. I thought i’d be upset with myself and make myself suffer the next week. But…i’m not. I have stuck right to plan these last 6 days, i have one less day then i usually do before weigh in, i haven’t binged, i haven’t ate after supper/late at night, and i’m improving mood wise. I’m actually becoming happy with myself. I’m going to stick to my May plan and once I weigh June 1st i’ll see if i like my over all month achievements. If i do ill keep with it, if not…ill change a thing or too and go another month. Right now i feel like i am right where i need to be to make my life style change and KEEP IT!

Yesterday: Bowl of Honey Comb cereal with 1% milk for breakfast. No lunch. Calls love coming out around my lunch time and i’m forgetting my lunch meal bar! Tuna sandwich with onions and 1 tbsp ranch with 1 can potato/cheese/bacon soup and 15 grapes for dinner. 10 cups water. Exercise total: 1 hour and 40 minutes. 30 minute bikey before work. 1o minute arm workout and 1 hour bikey after work. Sticker on calendar!

Today my hubby has his paramedic graduation and i am one proud/excited wifey. He has worked so hard! His dad and friend get to come up as well and we are all going out to eat before hand. Gonna be lots of fun!

Thursday through Saturday night are going to be constant obstacles for me. Bachelorette party Thursday night at 7pm with dinner, karaoke, and drinks. Friday is decorating, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. Saturday is the wedding where i do know i will have one cupcake. I plan to be good every day and eat as healthy as i can. I want today to be my free day. The big thing is I have weigh in on Sunday, so, knowing that is right after will def help keep me good. Week three is always where i seem to screw up and mess up my weigh ins. I am NOT going to let that happen this month. This is my month to bring it and shine! :sparkle sparkle: HeeHee Pray for me my ladies…i have to be good!

Here’s to a great 3rd week for me and an amazing week for all yall. HUGS!

And i stayed away from them all! BooYa! I came home last night, not in a bad mood, but with the munchies and being very tired. All i wanted was to grab a bowl of ice cream, the bag of Doritos and maybe a bowl of cereal, plop on the couch, stuff my face, and sleep. I walked up to all of these items, stared them down, and then walked away. I went straight after to my exercise plan of the night and got it all done! Afterwards i felt much better, more in control, and so ready for bed. Feeling good! I can win this battle!

Yesterday: Bowl of Honey Comb cereal with 1% milk for breakfast. No lunch. Ran a call that took forever and by the time we came back it was almost time for dinner. Can of steak and veggie Campbells soup, 13 grapes, one hamburger patty (no bun) with cheese, light ranch, and onions for dinner. 12 cups water. Exercise total: 1 hour and 10 minutes. 10 minute ab workout and 1 hour bikey after work. Sticker on calendar.

My mood is starting to slowly get better each day. As i’m working on my body and physical health, i’m also taking each day to work on my mental health. I still want to see the counselor, but i’m going to start with myself until then. I’m trying to keep my mind positive and my mouth on neutral.

A new job opportunity may be coming up on the horizon. I have always thought about getting into the law enforcement field, just have never had the nerve. Couple places around where i live are now hiring and i think i am going to try for one. Better money and state benefits. I likey! I’ll have to pass an agility test and go to their academy for like 5 1/2 months, but you get paid and get benefits that entire time. It’s a little scary, but it’s something i have always wanted to get into. My real dream is to be on the K9 unit eventually. I’m applying and putting it in the Lord’s hands. I don’t know if this is where i need to be, but i’m going to apply and see where it takes me.

Happy Mother’s To All!

I know most of you know about me and my job. Stress…under statement. Way to many chiefs out for their own good and hardly any Indians. I’m proud to be an Indian and keeping my small duties. Sadly…no body else will leave this little Indian be. I got yelled at again yesterday because i have an “attitude” and am not “social” enough. Now, they want to punish my truck with all these lies a very few certain people are telling them. One girl even told on me because the day she worked all i did was nap or sit on the couch and read. Really?! I’m getting possibly moved and talked to because i wasn’t sociable enough? Like i told my boss…they do not pay me to be social. They do not pay me to make friends. They pay me to be an Enhanced provider and i do a damn good job with that. I never take any of my work issues out on my patients and treat all of them + my partner with respect. Yes, i may not talk much but i have my reasons. There was a time i wanted to make friends, so bad. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be invited to the get togethers and dinners they all went to. I started making my “friends” i thought, but kept getting stabbed in the back. Im to scared to talk to people now or make friends. Being burned every day…kinda makes you that way. I asked her to please understand and respect that. I say hi to people and chit chat a little, but i am not the person who will start conversations and talk all day. Especially here! It’s my hell on earth right now. And why shouldn’t i call it that. I’m being attacked once to twice a month on my personality…and they wonder why my “solitude” and “attitude” are getting worse. Why would i want to associate myself with these people or speak to them? This is one day i wish i had gone to college…my lack of education is biting me in the butt right about now. Im stuck at this place until i find a job that will pay what i need to pay the pills. I want out bad, but i don’t want to put us in the poor house either. :Sigh:

I took a stand though yesterday to help fix what i can….myself. We have a Reach program at work that sets you up with a counselor and you are given 3 free sessions with them. After that i think it is like $50 or so for each session. Not to bad if it helps me. I’m going to discuss my issues with work and my anxiety. I have researched online and have tried fixing myself alone, but it’s gotten to hard. I’m having fewer and fewer good days and the bad days are taking over. I’m hoping they can help me through talks and techniques or suggest a pill i can take to chill me out. Whatever they suggest i’m up for. Anything is better then how i am living my life right now. :crossing fingers: I have already made the phone call and now just waiting to get contact with the counselor and set up an appointment date. Nervous and scared, but i know it will be for the best.

Yesterday: Honey Comb cereal with 1% milk for breakfast. SlimFast bar for lunch. 2 hamburgers with cheese, mayo/mustard and 15 grapes for dinner. 9 cups water. Exercise total: 1 hour and 40 minutes. 30 minutes bikey before work. 10 minute arm workout and 60 minute bikey after work. Sticker on calendar.

I’m pretty proud of me getting my exercise done after work. My mood was not good at all…and all i really wanted to do was cruel up on my couch and sleep away everything. But! I know that was not going to solve anything. It would just make me feel worse in the end. I took that obstacle and shoved it aside and got my sweatercise on! It was a struggle…i ain’t going to lie, but…i did it! It was almost 2 stickers worth of goodness. My health is the one thing i can control in my life right now and i want to keep it! I can’t lose all control…

My mood is still not where i like it to be, but i’m taking today and whatever it brings. Day to day!!! I have to keep repeating that. I have a good partner today, i have spoken to the others here at base, and ive been nice to the guy that i heard wants my job spot when i really want to tell him off…GOLD STAR FOR ME!!! My hubby would be so proud of me right now. ;D

Happy Weekend All!

Took both my pups for a walk yesterday and i SURVIVED! LoL My beagle is the best walker, but my boarder collie just gets so excited and can be quite a handful. We walked for an hour and i have to say they did very well over all. Mommy was not pulled to the ground and none of us got hit by a car. LoL We did see a coyote though…not so fun! It just stood there on the road and stared at us…creepy. I took us to the other side of the road, grabbed a stick, and was ready for battle. HeeHee Thankfully it went on its merry way and we got home in one piece. Well, i think the dogs did better then me. That walk tuckered me out. I hit the shower, ate some lunch, and then passed out on the couch for 2 hours. Felt niiice! Today i can feel the walk in my hips and thighs. Holding back 2 dogs equaling almost 100 pounds…works the muscles even more.

Yesterday: Chicken patty pancake sandwich with light syrup and 1% milk for breakfast. 1 baked chicken breast, 2 cups rice, corn, and 2 tbsp ranch for lunch. Pan fried steak, small corn on the cob, peach fruit cup for dinner. 10 cups water. Exercise total: 3 1/2 hours. 1 hour bikey before breakfast. 1 hour walk before lunch. 10 minute arm work and 20 minute bikey before dinner. 1 hour bikey after dinner. Also pushed mowed the dog pen and around for 25 minutes before lunch. Workout machine i was. LoL Sticker on calendar.

One more day down, one more sticker up. I’m feeling so much control and just feeling good in general. Day to day, obstacle by obstacle. I’ve also been trying to get down a cleaning system again for my house. I’m tired of things piling up and getting out of control. I not only want my health in control. but my whole life in general. Clean, healthy, and organized.

Weight: 225.6 Lost: 6.4 Pounds BMI: 34.3

I know it is mainly water weight and TOM ending, but what an amazing weigh in. Already half way to my 11 pound goal for May.

Kinda nervous for this week. It will be my first whole week without SlimQuick and i’m curious to see how my weigh in on Monday will turn out. I’m sticking to my daily plans very well, so, i see no issues. It’s just…different knowing i don’t have that little extra help.

Yesterday: Free Day: No breakfast. Me and the hubs decided to start our date day out with sleeping in a little. Felt soooo nice! 2 hot dogs on sliced bread, Ranch Doritos, and 2 tbsp ranch for lunch. Veggie burger with lettuce/cheese/chipotle ranch, serving of home made chips, and ranch for dinner at Hamm’s. Half of a cookie skillet for desert. 1 home made milk shake and a chicken patty sandwich for late night snack with the hubs. I feel my day was going good until that late night snack…but it was my free day and i was craving a milk shake like BAD! Me and the hubs decided to get it out of the way now, so, it didn’t spring back up some time later this week when i couldn’t have it. LoL 6 cups water. Exercise Total: 1 hour. 1 hour bikey ride before lunch with 25 crunches and 25 side crunches.Wanted another hour in, but we got home past midnight and my body was done. Sticker on calendar.

Yesterday was just an amazing day. Hubs got the part time job call he has been waiting on, got his back ground check & pee test done & brought to HR the same day, amazing weigh in, and The Avengers in IMAX 3D. Alot of driving, but it was such a pleasant, stress free day that we haven’t had in a while with just the 2 of us.

Happy Hump Day to all! Take today and blast through any obstacle that may come your way. We can do this!

The baby animal for the month of May on my calendar…a baby cow. How appropriate. I weighed in this month with a horrible number. A number i hoped to NEVER see again. I felt fat and like…a cow. LoL I was eating like a cow too in April. It felt like i was trying to fill 2 stomachs and was constantly chewing. LoL So, i’m kinda happy that little baby cow is staring at me every day. It reminds me of where i don’t want to be. It’s the little things every day that keep me going forward.

Yesterday: 3 SlimQuick pills taken with 8oz water. No breakfast. 3 SlimQuick pills taken with 8oz water. SlimFast bar for lunch. 1 can Campbell’s potato/cheese/bacon soup with 10 grapes for dinner. 13 cups water. Exercise total: 70 minutes. 10 minute ab workout and 60 minute bikey after work. Sticker on calendar.

Over slept yesterday morning and had about 10 minutes to get ready for work. I hate those mornings! No time for exercise or breakfast. I am proud of myself though. Usually the mornings i have to skip breakfast at home i stop at Bojangles and buy breakfast…regardless of when weigh in is. Not yesterday! I knew it was not worth it! I’m so far behind of where i wanted to be this year that i have to remember what is important. A 5 minute grease bliss or 2.2 pounds off? I’m going with the pounds off!

Once today is over a whole week will be under my belt. Each day i have done what is needed and stayed away from the things that wasn’t. Those days have led to this 1 week and i’m one happy girl. I’m happy with myself for sticking to it and kicking the excuses to the curb! Can not wait till these days all add up to one whole, beautiful, successful month!

Can not wait for tomorrow! Me and the hubby have a date day and i’m soooo excited! We have tickets to see The Avengers in 3D at an IMAX theater. I have one happy, 5 year old acting hubs. LoL Tomorrow will also be my free day which means we can have a wonderful dinner out anywhere we like. Mmmmmmm! LoL Exercise will still be included tomorrow, just not as much as usual. I’m mainly just excited to have a whole day with him. No school, no work, no meetings, no nothing to interrupt our time together. Gonna be nice!

Decided to get off SlimQuick early. The 14 1/2 weeks i have been on it, it has been very helpful…when i was doing good. But sadly i have not been doing my best and totally just wasted money and time taking them. When i was good i was losing 3.5-4 pounds a week with them. It was amazing, but i was also using them as an excuse to be bad. I thought they would be like…magical or something. Not true! I gain just as much when i am bad on them as when i am off them. I’m throwing away all excuses as the days go by and today…im throwing this one out. I still highly recommend it to anybody that needs a little help, but remember…its not a magical pill. You still have to exercise and you still have to watch everything you eat. If not…it’s pretty much useless and money down the drain.

Weigh in tomorrow morning! Excited! LoL Everyone have a great week ahead!!!

Uck…hating these moods. One person can make my day just blah and it takes all in me to keep my mouth shut and my attitude in check. I try all the things i have learned to not let people bother me: breath, think of positive things, etc. It works for like 5 minutes. I trust no one and any body that has ever stabbed me in the back…i hate being around them. I wish i had my husbands attitude. He has been burnt just as much as me, but he is so nice to people. He knows not to trust them again and watches what he says around them, but he is so nice and still talks to them. Me…i ignore them and do not speak to them unless i have to. I use to be so social and love being with people…now…unless im close to you id rather be with me, myself, and I. I think the idea of talking to a doctor about my anxiety is starting to look better and better. My brain is constantly on the go and im always worried about something or someone. It’s very tiresome and with not being able to sleep well at nights…no wonder my moods suck! I wish i didn’t hate doctors too. LOL It sucks that to get help for my anxiety i have to get past two parts of my anxiety…see a doctor and talk about my problems. Joy! I’m going to make a promise to myself now. By the end of next month i will have an appointment set up with someone. It will be a start. I know deep down this is not me. I dont like my emotions and anxiety ruling my life. Im done with it!

Yesterday: 3 SlimQuick pills taken with 8oz water. Honey Comb cereal with 1% milk for breakfast. 3 SlimQuick pills taken with 8oz water. Ham/Turkey/cheese sandwich, 10 mini carrots, and 2 tbsp ranch for lunch. 1 can Campbell’s chicken/broccoli/cheese soup, 5 crackers, and 11 grapes for dinner. 14 cups water. Exercise total: 2 hours. 30 minute bikey before work. 10 minute arm workout and 80 minute bikey after work. Sticker on calendar.

Im thinking a nice sunny day would be good for me. Its been cloudy/raining for like a week. SUN! I need you! LoL TOM this week is def not helping matters either. No sun…bleeding….hormones off whack…fear me!!!! LOL Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

And work, but it is what it is. Gotta make that money. Especially since our anniversary is coming up. We can’t afford to go away for a whole week since we already had the big get away to Portland last month. After searching for what it seems like forever i finally found something that would fit with our budget. We found a package deal for 3 days/2 nights to Kings Dominion and their water park. We got 2 nights at their hotel, walking distance from the park, and 2 day pass tickets for both of us. It all equaled about $340. Not bad at all! The hotel also has 2 restaurants on site, so, that saves even more gas money. It was my year to plan and im quite excited i found something that gets us away for a few days and something that won’t break the bank. I haven’t been to this park since i was like 3, so, i’m quite excited to go and see what they have.

Yesterday: 3 SlimQuick pills taken with 8 oz water. Honey Comb cereal with 1% milk for breakfast. 3 SlimQuick pills taken with 80z water. SlimFast bar for lunch. 1 can Campbell’s steak and potato soup, 15 grapes, and a ham and cheese sandwich for dinner. 14 cups water. Exercise total: 2 hour. 30 minutes bikey before work. 10 minute ab workout and 80 minute bikey after work. Sticker on calendar.

I’ve been feeling good this week! When i get home i go straight to workout cloths, get everything ready for the next day, and head straight to my workout. No sitting on the couch for a few minutes or getting distracted by the TV. Exercise and keeping the cravings/binges away is key right now. Staying focused and busy after work is really helping. By the time everything is done i have about 30 minutes to myself and i usually BuddySlim, Facebook, read a little bit, or chill with the kitties. As long as i get that workout done, my body has no need for any food and i love that feeling. One day at a time is leading me closer and closer to every mini goal which leads me closer and closer to my main goal. Woot Woot!

I think i am going back to rewarding myself with 20 bucks if i reach my monthly goal. And for every extra pound i lose i get an extra dollar. My little yellow piggy bank is so empty and it needs to be fed! LoL I’m back on track to be at goal weight by January 1st, no more unrealistic goal date. I have 40 weigh ins till then and have 88.1 pounds to lose. That equals to a loss of about 2.2 pounds a week. For this month i need to lose 11 pounds to stay on track. Anything more will just be an added bonus, but not something i’m dwelling on. I’m so looking forward to that shopping spree/make over.

Happy weekend to all!

I’m a planner. I love to grab a notebook, sit down somewhere, and plan out anything and everything going on in my life. Every January i sit down and plan out the whole year for my weight loss. Where i would like to be this month on this day, and then this month on this day, etc. But…when i slip or something falls out of my original plan…i freak. I totally just let myself fall back. Clearly my plan is not working, so, i’ll just free play for now. As you can see…free play as brought me right back to the 230’s and no where near my original plans. I have learned in the last month that i need to stop living my life for the week, for the next weigh in, for the next year. I need to live now! In this moment! I need to do everything i can today to succeed. Each day i keep myself accountable, each day i plan for myself, and each day i come out a winner…those days add up to weeks, to months, to years, and before i know it…i’m a whole new me, with all new habits, living the life i planned from the very, very beginning. Such a powerful thought!

I need to stop dwelling on the past. I need to stop looking in the mirror or any reflection and think…i didn’t use to have this face. I use to be small, toned, healthier. Yes i was, but i am not now. Dwelling on the past is just holding me back on yesterday, not today. Focusing on today and what i look like now and working on it now…will lead to a tomorrow which will lead to my beautiful future ahead. It looks….GREAT!

I love looking ahead, but i’m trying to remember to come back down to reality. Again…what can i do TODAY that will help me succeed and keep me on track. No, not what i can do tomorrow to get back on track….what can i do TODAY! This moment, this second.

Well, my truck is back here at work so i will get off here. I love having these moments to blog. It is really helping me get my thoughts organized and to keep my focus. Every one have a great friday and good luck to all who weigh in.

Watched Coyote Ugly today. Such a great movie. I really liked the part at the end when they asked each other what they would do now that they knew all their dreams had come true. Oh what a feeling that would be. To know you have done everything you can and have accomplished all that you had dreamed. Can not wait for that day.

My dreams: Find a man that truly loves me and marry. Well, i can check that one off. Settle down in a community and be very involved. 2-3 kids and has many animals has we can afford to take care of. As for my career? I would love to be my own boss and open my animal rescue and retreat business. I’ve always had a dream to be a stay at home mom, but i still want to feel like i am providing for my family. With my own business i can have both. Half of the business would be a kennel retreat. Need a place for your fur babies while on vacation or for a few hours each day? Id be there! The other half would be the rescue side. Would love to have the money and sponsors to take in any animal and either find them a home or take them in to love out the rest of their lives in a happy, loving, safe environment. I want to be the place people can bring a animal to and know they will be treated with respect and love. I would even love to have grooming or even training as extra sides. The dream would be to become known in the community and beyond and have the funds to have enough employees for everything to work smoothly. Just thinking about it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Hoping for one day to have the funds and courage to take off. It would have to start off as part time and probably just the kennel area. I would then work my way up. Every business has to start somewhere. Even if i could only afford the rescue side i would be content. I just want to be involved so badly in the care and rescue of animals that have no help. However life gets me there….i will be content and always striving for the whole dream. And of course being at goal weight and being a healthy person continuously throughout my life is def in my dreams.

Today: 3 SlimQuick pills taken with 8oz water. Honey Comb cereal with 1% milk for breakfast. 3 SlimQuick pills taken with 8oz water. SlimQuick bar for lunch. 1 cup pasta, 10 mini carrots, 10 grapes, and 2 tbsp ranch for dinner. 14 cups water. Exercise total: 1 hour and 15 minutes. 10 minute arm workout and 65 minute bikey after work. Sticker on calendar.